Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.
Secretary makes call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.
Husband makes call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so let's spend the week together.
Secret lover makes call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.
Small boy makes call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have classes 'coz my teacher is busy. Let's spend the week together.
Grandpa makes call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.
Secretary makes call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip.
Husband makes call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.
Secret lover makes call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: This week we will have class as usual.
Small boy makes call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company.
Grandpa makes call to his secretary: Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement.
... and the saga continues........................................
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Lalu's flight hit by bird, makes emergency landing-India-The Times of India
Lalu's flight hit by bird, makes emergency landing-India-The Times of India
Text :
NEW DELHI: A Kingfisher plane carrying Railway Minister Lalu Prasad made an emergency landing on Saturday after being hit by a bird. The Kingfisher flight IT 331 from Delhi to Varanasi was hit by a bird while taking off, sources said. Later, the Railway Minister left in an Indian Airlines flight.
***********
Well this is cool.. Railway minister himself ditching the profit making and comfortable train for plane... looks like soon Mr. Lalu train upgrade would have another level.... 1st AC upgrade to plane !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, June 13, 2008
Will Do
A man is sitting on his front stoop staring at the ground when his neighbor strolls over. The neighbor tries to start a conversation several times, but the older man barely responds. Finally, the neighbor asks what the problem is.
"Well," the man says, "I ran afoul of one of those questions women ask. Now I'm in the doghouse."
"What kind of question?" the neighbor asks.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she was old, fat and ugly."
"That's easy," says the neighbor. "You just say, 'Of course I will.'"
"Yeah," says the other man, "that's what I MEANT to say. But what came OUT was, 'Of course I do.'"
"Well," the man says, "I ran afoul of one of those questions women ask. Now I'm in the doghouse."
"What kind of question?" the neighbor asks.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she was old, fat and ugly."
"That's easy," says the neighbor. "You just say, 'Of course I will.'"
"Yeah," says the other man, "that's what I MEANT to say. But what came OUT was, 'Of course I do.'"
Thursday, June 12, 2008
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Note: Republished as received by email, i am not sure if its true/not true , copyrighted or anything.
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Simply awesome...
Microsoft's Memo to its Indian Staff
Friday, June 02, 2006 at 1:53 PM Posted under
This is a REAL MEMO from Microsoft HR Director in Redmond, WA to its staff of the Indian Origin. Every word here is kept intact without alteration.
MEMO TO INDIAN STAFF
In view of the large number of Indians working in the USA, UK and many other countries with White People, it has become important for Human Resources Department to issue directives to their Indian staff.
TO ALL HINDI-SPEAKING STAFF
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our corporate headquarters that offensive language is commonly used by our Hindi-speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and colleagues.
Staff will IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following rules:
1. Words like CHUTIYA, GANDU and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion. You will not say CHUTIYE, AKKAL NAHI HAI KYA TEREKO when someone makes a mistake, or MADAR CHOD, BHENCHOD when a major mistake has been made. All forms derived from the verb CHOD are inappropriate in our environment.
2. No project manager, section head or administrator, under any circumstances, will be referred to as GADHA or CHUTIYA. Lack of determination will not be referred to as KAAMCHOR SAALA and neither will persons who lack initiative be referred to as BHOSADIKAA or MADARCHOD.
3. Unusual or creative ideas from your superiors are not to be referred to as GAND FAADU, if a person is persistent, or if a task is heavy to accomplish. In a similar way, do not use GAND FATI, if a colleague is going through a difficult situation.
4. Furthermore, you must not say BHOSADE MEIN GAYA when matters become complicated. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say DIMAG KI MAA BHEN MAT KAR. Do not ever substitute 'May I help you?' with BOL TERI GAND KAISE MARU.
5. When things get tough, an acceptable ___expression such as 'We are going through a difficult time' should be used, rather than MAA CHUDI PADI HAI or GOTI MUH MEIN HAI.
6. No salary increase shall be ever referred to as KHAIRAAT BAATI JAA RAHI HAI KYA. Under no circumstances should you call our elderly corporate partners as BUDDHA KHOOSAT.
7. Last, but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say: YE KAGAJ GAND PONCHNE KE LAAYAK BHI NAHI HAI.
We hope you will keep these directions in mind.
Sincerely,
Steve Rider
Human Resources Director
Microsoft Corporation
Note: Republished as received by email, i am not sure if its true/not true , copyrighted or anything.
********************
Simply awesome...
Microsoft's Memo to its Indian Staff
Friday, June 02, 2006 at 1:53 PM Posted under
This is a REAL MEMO from Microsoft HR Director in Redmond, WA to its staff of the Indian Origin. Every word here is kept intact without alteration.
MEMO TO INDIAN STAFF
In view of the large number of Indians working in the USA, UK and many other countries with White People, it has become important for Human Resources Department to issue directives to their Indian staff.
TO ALL HINDI-SPEAKING STAFF
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our corporate headquarters that offensive language is commonly used by our Hindi-speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and colleagues.
Staff will IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following rules:
1. Words like CHUTIYA, GANDU and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion. You will not say CHUTIYE, AKKAL NAHI HAI KYA TEREKO when someone makes a mistake, or MADAR CHOD, BHENCHOD when a major mistake has been made. All forms derived from the verb CHOD are inappropriate in our environment.
2. No project manager, section head or administrator, under any circumstances, will be referred to as GADHA or CHUTIYA. Lack of determination will not be referred to as KAAMCHOR SAALA and neither will persons who lack initiative be referred to as BHOSADIKAA or MADARCHOD.
3. Unusual or creative ideas from your superiors are not to be referred to as GAND FAADU, if a person is persistent, or if a task is heavy to accomplish. In a similar way, do not use GAND FATI, if a colleague is going through a difficult situation.
4. Furthermore, you must not say BHOSADE MEIN GAYA when matters become complicated. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say DIMAG KI MAA BHEN MAT KAR. Do not ever substitute 'May I help you?' with BOL TERI GAND KAISE MARU.
5. When things get tough, an acceptable ___expression such as 'We are going through a difficult time' should be used, rather than MAA CHUDI PADI HAI or GOTI MUH MEIN HAI.
6. No salary increase shall be ever referred to as KHAIRAAT BAATI JAA RAHI HAI KYA. Under no circumstances should you call our elderly corporate partners as BUDDHA KHOOSAT.
7. Last, but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say: YE KAGAJ GAND PONCHNE KE LAAYAK BHI NAHI HAI.
We hope you will keep these directions in mind.
Sincerely,
Steve Rider
Human Resources Director
Microsoft Corporation
Monday, June 09, 2008
One must not engage in duties other than his own
Have you heard the story of " The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey" ?
To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this…
There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.
Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"
Now take a new look at the same story…
The washer man ( J ) was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed a " meets requirement" . Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around.. The donkey was rated as " star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation…
Disclaimer:
All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional.
To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this…
There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.
Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"
Now take a new look at the same story…
The washer man ( J ) was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed a " meets requirement" . Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around.. The donkey was rated as " star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation…
Disclaimer:
All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional.
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